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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

#11151626
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10037) - you deserved it (57713)

On 06/12/2010 at 6:13pm - health - by bobby - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

#11123342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33989) - you deserved it (3702)

On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

#11102000
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40366) - you deserved it (4128)

On 06/10/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by Aciliveth (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

#11054776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (3948)

On 06/08/2010 at 10:24am - health - by Rach (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I spent some time in a sun-bed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

#10938636
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7896) - you deserved it (33100)

On 06/03/2010 at 3:55am - health - by Aiaiii (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and its not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

#10930863
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (28092)

On 06/02/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by Kbizz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

#10922943
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (29158)

On 06/02/2010 at 5:31pm - health - by Official_Person (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

#10893433
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (18178)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm - health - by Stupid_Chick - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

#10884107
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (3596)

On 05/31/2010 at 11:43am - health - by twnty1 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML

#10880596
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (8866)

On 05/31/2010 at 5:15am - health - by FarisH (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (8998)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36225) - you deserved it (7806)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (3123)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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