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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (3538)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

#21443966
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (1982)

On 07/19/2015 at 10:36am - health - by Ouch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after months of hardcore training, free of injuries, I pinched a nerve in my neck while putting on a swimsuit to lie in the sun doing nothing. FML

#21443051
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (2188)

On 07/17/2015 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (4047)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

#21441279
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (2232)

On 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm - health - by wintersoldier - Austria

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (3781)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

#21439553
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25925) - you deserved it (1634)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

#21439124
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28481) - you deserved it (1711)

On 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm - health - by gerbilmaster (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

#21438468
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (16934)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:16am - health - by Jack Shart Jr. (man) - United States

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

#21438439
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (5631)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:58am - health - by Softball - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML

#21438172
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (4222)

On 07/07/2015 at 8:52pm - health - by BigHelp (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML

#21437540
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (1893)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:51pm - health - by sydmarie98 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

#21437526
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (1675)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:26pm - health - by feelthesting - Mexico (Aguascalientes)



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