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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

#6358488
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30202) - you deserved it (4189)

On 11/18/2009 at 7:19pm - health - by ohmigodimchokin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

#6349337
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33124) - you deserved it (2002)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

#6342074
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (5218)

On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

#6340550
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (6552)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

#6318323
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9075) - you deserved it (25815)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm - health - by proteinboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

#6311289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9872) - you deserved it (34207)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

#6303407
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (10687)

On 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm - health - by Insensitive (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10331) - you deserved it (47957)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7538) - you deserved it (44525)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (13715)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5811) - you deserved it (47134)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (6010)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (3356)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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