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Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

#6145601
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36921) - you deserved it (5005)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

#6145491
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:10am - health - by troubled (man) - United States (California)

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

#6114528
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29117) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:47am - health - by theRoomie (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

#6114128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34990) - you deserved it (2213)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:12am - health - by UnluckyJulie (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (5949)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

#6082159
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5822) - you deserved it (44873)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

#6068182
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30240) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/30/2009 at 8:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

#6049425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10485) - you deserved it (27095)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

#6048206
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (106130)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (7105)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

#6024330
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (7130)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2462)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (2215)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)



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