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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (47806)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7495) - you deserved it (44405)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (13693)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5784) - you deserved it (46995)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (5987)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (3349)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (14012)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34904) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (4265)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (9534)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (6812)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (6761)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

#6165427
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37393) - you deserved it (6246)

On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)



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