Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (5149)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12641) - you deserved it (18397)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (7279)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

#7521892
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10061) - you deserved it (32874)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:47pm - health - by notaguidette (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (2085)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25042) - you deserved it (6992)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

#7470356
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55024) - you deserved it (2481)

On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (7716)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML

#7455740
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6200) - you deserved it (33680)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

#7437528
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (2533)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (5803)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47318) - you deserved it (5520)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: