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Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

#5462449
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (6474)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:43am - health - by SterlingEnigma (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13001) - you deserved it (45840)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (4807)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

#5312415
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (2082)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

#5310529
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44790) - you deserved it (1534)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49785) - you deserved it (3252)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML

#5306456
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (2851)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (17207)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML

#5286391
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom noticed that my bike chain was rusty so she decided to clean it without telling me about her good deed. She forgot to tighten it when she put it back on so when I tried riding later it locked up and I ended up smashing my nuts. My doctor told me I have to ice them for a week. FML

#5231745
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30123) - you deserved it (1979)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by triplem (man) - United States (California)

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

#5222087
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (11684)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:17am - health - by beaten (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (3833)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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