Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (1941)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4638) - you deserved it (47749)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20621) - you deserved it (7660)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

#7614301
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36095) - you deserved it (7287)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (3267)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (6054)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11079) - you deserved it (20462)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63108) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

#7538757
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (2675)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:50am - health - by Schrewt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22786) - you deserved it (5149)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: