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Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (3139)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9303) - you deserved it (24322)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML

#6735017
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28575) - you deserved it (2292)

On 12/13/2009 at 5:12am - health - by cagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (21709)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (1820)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

#6719258
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (7641)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7802) - you deserved it (34520)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML

#6674609
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29728) - you deserved it (5350)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:25am - health - by somechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML

#6663134
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (3407)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:19am - health - by redcherries90 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

#6660258
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11333) - you deserved it (21560)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:53am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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