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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

#7164815
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7068) - you deserved it (30663)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (7642)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML

#7148180
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (5746)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by meh (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (2847)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (3381)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36521) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (6645)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

#7135383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5836) - you deserved it (29604)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm - health - by fml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

#7121915
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (1874)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:59am - health - by nzkristy (woman) - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML

#7121728
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (6014)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:36am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

#7098506
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (4000)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6990) - you deserved it (31000)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version



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