Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

#10893433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (17876)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm - health - by Stupid_Chick - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

#10884107
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (3591)

On 05/31/2010 at 11:43am - health - by twnty1 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML

#10880596
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (8853)

On 05/31/2010 at 5:15am - health - by FarisH (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (8587)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (7539)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26675) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

#10827596
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (4304)

On 05/28/2010 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (5331)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15229) - you deserved it (32474)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

#10752650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14005) - you deserved it (32617)

On 05/25/2010 at 8:32am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out I have dandruff when a chick passed by and said out loud to her friends: "That dude's hair is having an early Xmas!" FML

#10733187
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24703) - you deserved it (6254)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14pm - health - by Dandruff - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML

#10705842
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35860) - you deserved it (2672)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:08am - health - by gpistas - United States

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

#10683891
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14526) - you deserved it (21585)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:03am - health - by knickedleg - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: