Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46089) - you deserved it (3828)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

#14983932
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (2811)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9269) - you deserved it (50927)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (2660)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

#14955673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/13/2011 at 6:38am - health - by floggingnasty - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

#14950159
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (16128)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

#14931650
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (4345)

On 02/11/2011 at 2:04am - health - by Eres (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

#14908981
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18650) - you deserved it (34110)

On 02/09/2011 at 1:02pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36903) - you deserved it (3438)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

#14897237
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34263) - you deserved it (2609)

On 02/08/2011 at 4:39pm - health - by scratchy -

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

#14894190
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (5384)

On 02/08/2011 at 9:46am - health - by mmromig - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

#14893456
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47696) - you deserved it (3024)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:48am - health - by soccerscout7 -



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