Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (42399)
On 04/15/2009 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (47053)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by caramelkarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
I agree, your life sucks (43992) - you deserved it (4118)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:15pm - health - by bobbies (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (102374) - you deserved it (7750)
On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75725) - you deserved it (4272)
On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (564044) - you deserved it (35941)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58142) - you deserved it (9557)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (15858)
On 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm - health - by EpicFailAtItsFinest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101826) - you deserved it (3622)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (12953)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:07am - health - by masterdisaster (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220029) - you deserved it (27160)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8593) - you deserved it (64605)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:40pm - health - by clublulu (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19290) - you deserved it (85702)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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