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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend woke up to me crying. He asked what was wrong, but before I could answer, he'd already rolled over and started snoring louder than ever, making the migraine I was crying about even worse. FML

#15152021
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (6413)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML

#15144008
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8099) - you deserved it (33129)

On 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by shirley (woman) - Spain

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

#15141263
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44215) - you deserved it (13439)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by Stormy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (3781)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

#15102552
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12863) - you deserved it (34666)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm - health - by Steve - United States (California)

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (3692)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

#15057968
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46516) - you deserved it (4840)

On 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

#15051482
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29661) - you deserved it (5295)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:04pm - health - by bouncekitty - United States (Illinois)

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML

#15025165
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (5587)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:39am - health - by pandaface (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

#15013334
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (5710)

On 02/17/2011 at 6:12am - health - by stillchubby (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

#15012596
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (4099)

On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

#15011813
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (4136)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -

Today, I underwent several cardiac tests involving heart monitoring nodes placed all over my chest. The lab techs didn't pre-shave the areas and yanked out big clumps of chest hair as they removed the 10 nodes. They laughed, and said it could take up to a year for the hair to grow back. FML

#15002719
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (4245)

On 02/16/2011 at 1:53pm - health - by Magilla - United States (Indiana)



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