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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fired from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way. FML

#7770242
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (3248)

On 02/01/2010 at 1:43am - health - by blah - Sent from mobile version

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (3323)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

#7663968
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (2802)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:49am - health - by mirrorfad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4625) - you deserved it (47675)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20583) - you deserved it (7647)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

#7614301
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36036) - you deserved it (7280)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (3327)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (6048)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)



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