Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML

#7294693
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:18am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (3700)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

#7273093
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (50213)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:23am - health - by alexbobalex (woman) - Aland Islands

Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waited for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day. FML

#7270960
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (2699)

On 01/11/2010 at 12:19am - health - by Gentleman (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

#7256153
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10897) - you deserved it (52231)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

#7249954
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30097) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:55am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

#7249496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (26837)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:35am - health - by bummed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

#7231973
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6677) - you deserved it (36390)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

#7228491
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11682) - you deserved it (22313)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

#7193385
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (3368)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:36am - health - by Srain (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

#7183279
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25925) - you deserved it (4413)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by moudly (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

#7164815
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (30620)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: