Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25760) - you deserved it (6045)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11040) - you deserved it (20404)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (3922)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62931) - you deserved it (6222)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

#7538757
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (2671)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:50am - health - by Schrewt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (5140)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12196) - you deserved it (17969)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25167) - you deserved it (7264)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I weighed myself. When I was fifteen, my mom yelled at me, saying that I was going to end up being 200 pounds by the time I was forty. Well, mom, you're wrong. At this rate I'll be 200 pounds by the time I'm twenty. FML

#7521892
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10023) - you deserved it (32782)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:47pm - health - by notaguidette (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (2022)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (6836)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

#7470356
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54874) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)



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