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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

#8040620
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (1880)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML

#8005282
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9975) - you deserved it (28829)

On 02/08/2010 at 5:52am - health - by preggers (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML

#7925072
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19764) - you deserved it (2953)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:25am - health - by aurorason - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

#7918887
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19233) - you deserved it (8015)

On 02/05/2010 at 10:19pm - health - by Henry (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

#7898560
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10324) - you deserved it (30195)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:33am - health - by Holly - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

#7869432
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9761) - you deserved it (26829)

On 02/04/2010 at 2:22am - health - by Tuffgunsmoke - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML

#7855976
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (6956)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:18pm - health - by XxOx - Sent from mobile version

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you deserved it (6621)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26376) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

#7789192
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12962) - you deserved it (33959)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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