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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (7268)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (3119)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML

#15278049
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (2865)

On 03/11/2011 at 7:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

#15273701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (4787)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:11am - health - by Pain_intolerant - Canada

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

#15242140
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46917) - you deserved it (4736)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

#15240509
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (8789)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm - health - by caqi33 - United States

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (6407)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML

#15229346
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (3412)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52515) - you deserved it (10815)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML

#15221158
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (3448)

On 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm - health - by milkndstufff (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the dentist after 24 hours of severe tooth pain. They did an emergency root canal. After the anesthesia wore off, within minutes, the pain returned only worse than before. Called the dentist, I had to return, only to find they had done the root canal on the wrong tooth. FML

#15213402
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:42am - health - by rj (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (3667)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

#15207918
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33918) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/05/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by 092492 - United States (California)



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