Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

by xJade2012x / 11/24/2011 at 2:58am / United States / Health

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

by emilyta / 11/24/2011 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

by chunkymonkey / 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm / Health

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 4:36am / United States / Health

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

by OCDrunk / 11/23/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

by Bob / 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

by haileyjunkin / 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm / Health

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

by ughh / 11/22/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Health

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

by daybyday / 11/22/2011 at 3:08am / Australia / Health

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

by bad karma / 11/21/2011 at 9:34am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

by xattackattackx / 11/18/2011 at 4:01am / United States (Hawaii) / Health

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

by OUCH. / 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm / United States / Health