Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39538) - you deserved it (4133)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42426) - you deserved it (7134)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

#15385853
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44582) - you deserved it (3362)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:13pm - health - by Jessica - Romania (Neamt)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11819) - you deserved it (65332)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47187) - you deserved it (3784)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

#15302298
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (15139)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47077) - you deserved it (2993)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (7266)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (3117)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML

#15278049
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (2865)

On 03/11/2011 at 7:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

#15273701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (4787)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:11am - health - by Pain_intolerant - Canada

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

#15242140
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46916) - you deserved it (4736)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

#15240509
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (8780)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm - health - by caqi33 - United States



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