Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62321) - you deserved it (3332)
On 04/29/2009 at 5:40am - health - by Mars (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38048) - you deserved it (4389)
On 04/29/2009 at 4:06am - health - by Jake (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47852) - you deserved it (8217)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried taking some over-the-counter allergy medication to help with my terrible seasonal allergies so I could finally get some sleep. I had an allergic reaction to the medicine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46372) - you deserved it (2902)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8589) - you deserved it (78423)
On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62234) - you deserved it (11632)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53781) - you deserved it (2748)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9878) - you deserved it (46219)
On 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm - health - by JohnFarrell (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (76910)
On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (7323)
On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was babysitting, I had put the kids to bed, and I was in the kitchen raiding the fridge when I hear the front door open. There I am in front of the fridge holding a bottle of wine to get to the whipped cream in the back of the fridge. Now my neighbors think I'm an alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33585) - you deserved it (6464)
On 04/21/2009 at 12:10am - health - by babyshit - United States
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64607) - you deserved it (3419)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68882) - you deserved it (2268)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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