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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

#8500345
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6929) - you deserved it (32733)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:14am - health - by Braced (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

#8499818
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (2287)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by Will - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (2202)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (2693)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

#8466183
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8036) - you deserved it (36918)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:09am - health - by fatflabbyfail - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (3315)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

#8416746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20744) - you deserved it (3220)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (5161)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (7330)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)



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