Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

#15933616
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (3905)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:00pm - health - by BigToe (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27283) - you deserved it (5324)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (50042)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (4081)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (58317)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (4498)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

#15894245
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (2891)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:12am - health - by rhartnett11 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

#15873960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33186) - you deserved it (9441)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32474) - you deserved it (4174)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
740 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53186) - you deserved it (7418)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (8371)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (3950)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49244) - you deserved it (18713)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: