Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43281) - you deserved it (2170)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by bloodynose (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34921) - you deserved it (4917)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by sad_panda (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71990) - you deserved it (3128)
On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (60202)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33678) - you deserved it (4057)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States
Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46944) - you deserved it (9125)
On 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm - health - by JK710 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (7710)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:43am - health - by badeats (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML
I agree, your life sucks (54656) - you deserved it (3027)
On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)
Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (1773)
On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)
Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (4872)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (6990)
On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7728) - you deserved it (28908)
On 06/18/2009 at 1:31am - health - by ihpgolj (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (4631)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:12am - health - by Broken (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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