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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14019965
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (4403)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:11am - health - by unknown951 -

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

#14018478
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (6479)

On 11/29/2010 at 12:03am - health - by caliibbyy -

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (4217)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (13933)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (3543)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (6107)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML

#13953523
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (1981)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

#13934575
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/22/2010 at 6:33am - health - by can't breathe - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

#13913200
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (4929)

On 11/20/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (6418)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

#13899111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (31771)

On 11/19/2010 at 11:54am - health - by SODbeatlesMCRlp (man) - United States

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (2547)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

#13883549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/18/2010 at 12:04am - health - by twice-a-day (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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