Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (3567)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (1946)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

#8416746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (2329)

On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (3217)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23212) - you deserved it (5159)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (7325)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37373) - you deserved it (3195)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

#8329398
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:26am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

#8327951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6658) - you deserved it (29459)

On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

#8300373
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20824) - you deserved it (3615)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

#8287074
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9217) - you deserved it (27997)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

#8242645
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34017) - you deserved it (5988)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: