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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

#14692086
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (8456)

On 01/23/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by Sostupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (2648)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML

#14659037
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30488) - you deserved it (5622)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Monaco

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML

#14646184
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (4131)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:47am - health - by sickly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (5240)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

#14634381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (31079)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

#14630970
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (3305)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (4919)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus or blowing blood. FML

#14625013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28311) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/18/2011 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28112) - you deserved it (7292)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27811) - you deserved it (7247) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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