Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52572) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (2435)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

#14130110
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

#14127475
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (18613)

On 12/08/2010 at 1:26am - health - by whyme -

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21955) - you deserved it (3155)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on the bus when an obese woman with flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

#14116866
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (2583)

On 12/07/2010 at 4:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out I have Raynaud's, a condition where your veins basically shut off all blood flow to your hands and feet if you get cold. Turns out "cold" for me is anything below 70 degrees. Oh, and I live in Ohio. FML

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

#14095720
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32335) - you deserved it (3000)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67570) - you deserved it (10404)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72704) - you deserved it (5127)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

#14032735
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12330) - you deserved it (19363)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML

#14026959
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29978) - you deserved it (5209)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:25pm - health - by leilei (woman) - Philippines

Today, I went to see a psychiatrist for my depression and low self esteem. While in the waiting room, I overheard a guy telling his friend how ugly I am. FML

#14023842
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (3451)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:58pm - health - by sadness - South Africa (Western Cape)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: