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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57397) - you deserved it (3662)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the wedding dress I've been waiting months to see. It turns out that my mom ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than my size, this way it will be "an incentive to lose weight". FML

#16350692
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37646) - you deserved it (5952)

On 05/25/2011 at 11:19pm - health - by Angelica - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

#16325650
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39221) - you deserved it (9209)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

#16314169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (3061)

On 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm - health - by Catherine - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

#16292303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45304) - you deserved it (4320)

On 05/22/2011 at 2:30am - health - by ninalian - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39233) - you deserved it (3291)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

#16234308
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (9030)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

#16232810
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (4160)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66577) - you deserved it (10324)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (38652)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (13671)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (13760)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States



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