Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (7317)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37319) - you deserved it (3190)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

#8329398
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:26am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

#8327951
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6645) - you deserved it (29406)

On 02/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by Out Ran - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

#8300373
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20694) - you deserved it (3599)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

#8287074
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (27937)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:44am - health - by kiriakousauce21 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

#8242645
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33951) - you deserved it (5984)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML

#8230372
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (2823)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - health - by dogbait - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (4194)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (2669)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

#8156006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18443) - you deserved it (3624)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:20am - health - by a - United States (Maryland)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

#8142277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8222) - you deserved it (15111)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm - health - by unknown002 (woman) - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: