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Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (7345)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

#16496230
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (3739)

On 06/04/2011 at 9:07am - health - by missbutthole - United States (New York)

Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML

#16478261
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (4370)

On 06/03/2011 at 1:16am - health - by JefferyT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

#16467969
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (10274)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60200) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33139) - you deserved it (3388)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

#16432657
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39854) - you deserved it (5105)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

#16416160
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (16112)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:59am - health - by skigal24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57397) - you deserved it (3662)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the wedding dress I've been waiting months to see. It turns out that my mom ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than my size, this way it will be "an incentive to lose weight". FML

#16350692
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (5952)

On 05/25/2011 at 11:19pm - health - by Angelica - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

#16325650
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39218) - you deserved it (9209)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

#16314169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34723) - you deserved it (3061)

On 05/23/2011 at 3:33pm - health - by Catherine - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

#16292303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (4315)

On 05/22/2011 at 2:30am - health - by ninalian - United States (Puerto Rico)



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