Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML

#20935493
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37009) - you deserved it (2372)

On 10/27/2013 at 10:30am - health - by BadLuck (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36231) - you deserved it (8639)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (2222)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (8124)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (3124)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (10544)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (6535)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (6224)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44576) - you deserved it (5496)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38070) - you deserved it (3082)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

#20924836
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43375) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/18/2013 at 2:13am - health - by Jan (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: