Today, I fractured two ribs from coughing. My doctor told me to stop coughing, or I would fracture them more. I have bronchitis. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2016 at 7:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I was miserable with a cold. So I ordered soup and noodles from a new Chinese restaurant. Now I am miserable with a cold and food poisoning. FML

by All the ills / 02/15/2016 at 3:32pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

by notonthepavement / 02/15/2016 at 6:04am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Health

Today, I think I've conditioned my body to not function without technology, as I simply couldn't take a shit until I got up, fetched my phone and returned to the toilet to read stuff on here. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2016 at 4:15am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Health

Today, I found out my doctor misdiagnosed my kidney stones as constipation. Now, I'm shitting like crazy from the laxatives that he gave me, and I also have to pass a kidney stone. FML

by madisonnnnnn / 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

by neveragain / 02/12/2016 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML

by tooembarrassed / 02/12/2016 at 10:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my mom told me she wasn't an alcoholic because she doesn't get "black out drunk" daily. She only gets drunk enough to slur her words and reek of alcohol daily, so it's okay. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 5:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I found out my insurance company denied my claim because they had me marked down as "male" and yet also pregnant. I now have to prove to them that I'm actually a woman. FML

by notaman / 02/11/2016 at 1:12pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, after months of daily migraines and doctor's visits, I've now been told that my "temporary" hearing loss has nothing to do with my migraines, nor is it temporary at all. FML

by make america date again / 02/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I had to give up going to a therapist because it was too expensive and my parents couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, a girl in my class is getting a therapist for her dog. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2016 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 6:56am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health