Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (3493)
On 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (1732)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15136) - you deserved it (16971)
On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (2148)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)
Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (4118)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States
Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (1976)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16365) - you deserved it (12287)
On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (2660)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (2691)
On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States
Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4602) - you deserved it (34513)
On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (1491)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (1744)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)
Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17348) - you deserved it (1690)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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