Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML

#16792540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you deserved it (2472)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:59am - health - by justinj360 - United States (Montana)

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43679) - you deserved it (3465)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

#16781129
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31928) - you deserved it (8040)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm - health - by Charles (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44057) - you deserved it (3452)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a filling. Instead of giving me Novocaine, my dentist decided he was going to use a special new paste on me while he drilled. It didn't work. FML

#16764992
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (3058)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:21pm - health - by StupidDentist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37666) - you deserved it (5445)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

#16762129
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (3072)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:12pm - health - by Tequila (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

#16746621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (10493)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by no one - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41834) - you deserved it (24693)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

#16728687
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:54pm - health - by Anna (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11059) - you deserved it (109109)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

#16704892
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (3781)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:34am - health - by ekoblick - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10435) - you deserved it (47301)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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