Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (27461)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (3560)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (4728)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10436) - you deserved it (24428)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26287) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

#12680643
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30050) - you deserved it (5226)

On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (29935)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

#12655415
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (2822)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by meowcat101 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (2782)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after twisting my knee playing soccer with my friends, I had to take myself to the hospital. Apparently finishing the game was more important to them. FML

#12638135
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25753) - you deserved it (4207)

On 08/20/2010 at 1:34am - health - by Sam - United States

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20279) - you deserved it (13362)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

#12612663
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34359) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/18/2010 at 9:26pm - health - by gorey - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

#12549238
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (5583)

On 08/15/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by Tingly (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: