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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

#13934575
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (3442)

On 11/22/2010 at 6:33am - health - by can't breathe - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

#13913200
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (4834)

On 11/20/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

#13900927
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30581) - you deserved it (6411)

On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

#13899111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8811) - you deserved it (30302)

On 11/19/2010 at 11:54am - health - by SODbeatlesMCRlp (man) - United States

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (2542)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

#13883549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (3650)

On 11/18/2010 at 12:04am - health - by twice-a-day (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10235) - you deserved it (32769)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that people can get ringworm from cats. I found out because I have ringworm. I don't have a cat. Then I remembered I helped a friend move about two weeks ago, and spent the night sharing a bed with her cat. That's the last time I ever help her move. FML

#13861463
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML

#13858571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (4432)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:25pm - health - by n0taplumber - United States (Indiana)

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (3678)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

#13801861
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (4514)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:11pm - health - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (33696)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

#13789712
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (2446)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:22pm - health - by khaelian (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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