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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

#10683891
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (21448)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:03am - health - by knickedleg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10494) - you deserved it (36807)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

#10661974
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (3761)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:04am - health - by mrmidi - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

#10612063
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you deserved it (3569)

On 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by tallwoman (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

#10559209
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (9493)

On 05/16/2010 at 12:08am - health - by fatgirl - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (2309)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

#10520855
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8012) - you deserved it (27144)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML

#10501426
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (4318)

On 05/13/2010 at 2:01am - health - by fatpooch (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (5379)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

#10066233
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (3987)

On 04/22/2010 at 1:37pm - health - by :) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7830) - you deserved it (63578)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33340) - you deserved it (7587)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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