Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35264) - you deserved it (5831)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (14542)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44828) - you deserved it (3612)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

#16964534
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (2928)

On 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm - health - by drunkinriot - United States

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

#16953000
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39550) - you deserved it (2570)

On 07/02/2011 at 8:22pm - health - by blahdyblahblah33 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

#16931515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37382) - you deserved it (2987)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

#16929999
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (3461)

On 07/01/2011 at 12:15am - health - by nico (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10036) - you deserved it (61935)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

#16922820
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12612) - you deserved it (33297)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

#16913093
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (5398)

On 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Jenna - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

#16909207
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42332) - you deserved it (3322)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm - health - by Googleit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML

#16905617
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8623) - you deserved it (57167)

On 06/29/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anza (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, after checking in and waiting 3 hours to see the doctor, the receptionist said she forgot about me because she didn't see me. She asked me to come back tomorrow. I was sitting right in front of her. FML

#16896966
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35394) - you deserved it (4027)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by misty - Canada (Ontario)



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