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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36114) - you deserved it (26072)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

#15550416
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37128) - you deserved it (3732)

On 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

#15546650
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (3020)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:08pm - health - by Spike (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

#15514650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34687) - you deserved it (3984)

On 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm - health - by hellosir - United States

Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML

#15503138
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16039) - you deserved it (37483)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm - health - by coolkid111 - United States (New York)

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

#15487602
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51302) - you deserved it (3138)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34780) - you deserved it (6219)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

#15430583
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (12265)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:39am - health - by Maddie -

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (4070)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41295) - you deserved it (7026)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

#15385853
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43568) - you deserved it (3293)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:13pm - health - by Jessica - Romania (Neamt)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11371) - you deserved it (63978)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States



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