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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (49371)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (8315)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

#14851350
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (4933)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:13am - health - by Screwed in Seattle - United States (California)

Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML

#14832801
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (2620)

On 02/03/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Pox (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

#14821107
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (2754)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:33am - health - by Kay -

Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML

#14805618
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35507) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:07am - health - by notafatlump -

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7486) - you deserved it (40287)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25192) - you deserved it (2917)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32709) - you deserved it (3952)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (2708)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15777) - you deserved it (24019)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (4017)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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