Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

by danny5191 / 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

by jarv49 / 03/16/2012 at 1:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

by Sica / 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm / France / Health

 Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

by missgayle319 / 03/15/2012 at 3:53am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

by braceface / 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm / United States / Health

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

by pagvscgrac / 03/13/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

by anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 4:03am / United States / Health

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

by jmac / 03/10/2012 at 10:06pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

by Rissa Warrington / 03/09/2012 at 3:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

by radiating / 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm / Health