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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

#17202338
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35909) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML

#17173015
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32894) - you deserved it (4959)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

#17162768
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (4108)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

#17152929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (8255)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister found out she contracted ringworm and scabies from her best friend's rescued kittens. The entire family now has to be treated to prevent it from spreading. There are 7 people in our house and none of us have health insurance. FML

#17152601
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (15090)

On 07/17/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by cderr (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

#17150895
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31620) - you deserved it (4501)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

#17140315
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

#17139363
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (14843)

On 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm - health - by adamclmns (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I grinned for five minutes straight because my friends told me it would put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. It gave me a migraine. FML

#17122126
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you deserved it (26015)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by so much for a good day - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (5103)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39054) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (2405)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)



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