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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9196) - you deserved it (20139)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

#14541152
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (2317)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (4178)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

#14533533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (3943)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8114) - you deserved it (36057)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

#14531050
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35383) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/10/2011 at 7:48am - health - by AW -

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

#14530558
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/10/2011 at 5:35am - health - by dinosaur - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

#14529233
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (2577)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

#14524206
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34930) - you deserved it (3773)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Serbia

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (3291)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

#14520919
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

#14518373
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML



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