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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (5220)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (2874)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13871) - you deserved it (60621)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36502) - you deserved it (8672)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40119) - you deserved it (3437)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

#17202338
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35900) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML

#17173015
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (4959)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

#17162768
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (4107)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

#17152929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (8254)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister found out she contracted ringworm and scabies from her best friend's rescued kittens. The entire family now has to be treated to prevent it from spreading. There are 7 people in our house and none of us have health insurance. FML

#17152601
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32323) - you deserved it (15087)

On 07/17/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by cderr (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

#17150895
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (4501)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

#17140315
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)



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