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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

#14374773
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (10953)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11057) - you deserved it (50875)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML

#14371453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33148) - you deserved it (2304)

On 12/28/2010 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

#14366968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (4713)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

#14356435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (7593)

On 12/27/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got an unsightly mole on my face removed. While I was shaving. FML

#14351793
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (3872)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:37am - health - by boreed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

#14350386
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (6251)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by cloud7 -

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

#14347070
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (4138)

On 12/26/2010 at 4:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you deserved it (24517)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

#14320804
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (5944)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

#14319406
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (4785)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

#14297288
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (5136)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

#14294130
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (2826)

On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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