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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was waiting to speak to a customer service salesman in a store. To pass time, I was playing with a rubber band. The rubber band shot off and hit the salesman smack in the face. FML

#12944267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8613) - you deserved it (23557)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:53am - health - by slingshot - United States

Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML

#12922106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (6964)

On 09/05/2010 at 8:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40108) - you deserved it (6554)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (6305)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12106) - you deserved it (54180)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

#12866112
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35295) - you deserved it (2381)

On 09/02/2010 at 3:25am - health - by coyote - Japan

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (3935)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

#12852856
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (4535)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

#12846178
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7212) - you deserved it (35779)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:46pm - health - by WIno - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18078) - you deserved it (27420)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (3556)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (4725)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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