Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32351) - you deserved it (1492)
On 10/11/2009 at 1:09am - health - by WhoDoYouLove6208 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (1862)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5665) - you deserved it (95148)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39831) - you deserved it (2396)
On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28260) - you deserved it (3882)
On 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (5126)
On 10/09/2009 at 8:29am - health - by StillDrowsy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (10043)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21910) - you deserved it (4915)
On 10/07/2009 at 1:43am - health - by Toothless (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10709) - you deserved it (37802)
On 10/06/2009 at 9:01am - health - by ticked (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9498) - you deserved it (26718)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39032) - you deserved it (6703)
On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32291) - you deserved it (2604)
On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (2304)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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