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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
739 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52048) - you deserved it (7302)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (8275)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (3872)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48247) - you deserved it (18486)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32231) - you deserved it (2968)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

#15786221
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9358) - you deserved it (35015)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm - health - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML

#15786077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13653) - you deserved it (22057)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:12pm - health - by Omegared - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

#15768442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:34am - health - by Arghh (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12161) - you deserved it (132552)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (2958)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26916) - you deserved it (10816)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (7463)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

#15702397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24592) - you deserved it (12290)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)



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