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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18926) - you deserved it (54362)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (4180)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

#15894245
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (2706)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:12am - health - by rhartnett11 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

#15873960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (9319)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (3998)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
739 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52042) - you deserved it (7302)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (8209)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (3677)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48242) - you deserved it (18484)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (2853)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

#15786221
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9358) - you deserved it (35012)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm - health - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML

#15786077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13652) - you deserved it (22052)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:12pm - health - by Omegared - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

#15768442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:34am - health - by Arghh (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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