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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

#14347070
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (4137)

On 12/26/2010 at 4:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10911) - you deserved it (24499)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

#14320804
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (5941)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

#14319406
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (4781)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

#14297288
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (5034)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

#14294130
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (2825)

On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML

#14286493
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37081) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (6173)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (7553)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

#14257367
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35428) - you deserved it (2407)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (4555)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

#14242273
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37250) - you deserved it (6898)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29184) - you deserved it (3169)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States



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