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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

#13383156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (9589)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm - health - by nikki (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my bestfriends elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML

#13372101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9365) - you deserved it (25524)

On 10/08/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by ~Mr.Void - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11753) - you deserved it (35602)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (9486)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sit here in agonizing pain because of a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress this incredible back pain. Looks like I can't take any. My mom has hidden them from me because she THINKS I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor were here. FML

#13363376
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31735) - you deserved it (2316)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:31am - health - by lmastr64 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45623) - you deserved it (4892)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

#13355611
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (5273)

On 10/07/2010 at 3:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45969) - you deserved it (14699)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

#13345478
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24918) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/06/2010 at 6:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7248) - you deserved it (39369)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML

#13327149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7259) - you deserved it (34576)

On 10/05/2010 at 6:46am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

#13304809
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (2812)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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