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Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7005) - you deserved it (42968)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8833) - you deserved it (45454)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, after saving up my money for weeks, I went to see my favorite artist in concert with my friends. Two songs in, I passed out, hit my head, and had to have someone drive me home. FML

#12456639
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (6547)

On 08/11/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

#12449255
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (3715)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

#12448497
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (4056)

On 08/11/2010 at 4:10am - health - by Jayswizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

#12431903
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6227)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

#12430167
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (2905)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:46am - health - by travelsickness - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

#12420355
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (10249)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:29pm - health - by fatman - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8013) - you deserved it (41128)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (2640)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

#12236512
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (3485)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:10am - health - by lonely (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (3258)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

#12188597
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45047) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by Richmond24 (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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