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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

#11054776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (3798)

On 06/08/2010 at 10:24am - health - by Rach (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I spent some time in a sun-bed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

#10938636
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6553) - you deserved it (29572)

On 06/03/2010 at 3:55am - health - by Aiaiii (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and its not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

#10930863
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6841) - you deserved it (24661)

On 06/02/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by Kbizz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

#10922943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (26382)

On 06/02/2010 at 5:31pm - health - by Official_Person (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

#10893433
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (16841)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm - health - by Stupid_Chick - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

#10884107
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21126) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/31/2010 at 11:43am - health - by twnty1 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my orthodontist where I was informed that I'll going to the prom, to my brother's wedding, and maybe to university with braces in my mouth. FML

#10880596
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (8437)

On 05/31/2010 at 5:15am - health - by FarisH (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

#10842466
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23513) - you deserved it (8089)

On 05/29/2010 at 2:20pm - health - by asstomouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

#10832830
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32518) - you deserved it (7246)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22013) - you deserved it (2742)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

#10827596
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (3903)

On 05/28/2010 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

#10775711
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/26/2010 at 11:54am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13218) - you deserved it (29702)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)



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