Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14236) - you deserved it (26824)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32556) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31981) - you deserved it (14766)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34913) - you deserved it (3616)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (4380)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31246) - you deserved it (4274)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32731) - you deserved it (4601)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (14160)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (9328)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you deserved it (3728)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41106) - you deserved it (3708)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

#17597483
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28080) - you deserved it (5223)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

#17592683
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (4004)

On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)



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