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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

#13094765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (2446)

On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (2839)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (3003)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

#13074561
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (2480)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

#13072362
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:17am - health - by gretel (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the airport with my mom, who requested a wheelchair for me, since I have a broken leg. I'm 24. Embarrassed, I insisted I push myself around, instead of an airline assistant doing it. A few seconds later, I crash into the same airline assistant, who then falls back into my lap. FML

#13060775
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8614) - you deserved it (25001)

On 09/15/2010 at 11:53am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (4060)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

#13006773
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (5010)

On 09/11/2010 at 5:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

#12999181
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (2164)

On 09/11/2010 at 1:31am - health - by fuzzy1895 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

#12991728
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (3934)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

#12989676
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (3830)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:13pm - health - by moncheri1314 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26451) - you deserved it (5193)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)



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