Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35285) - you deserved it (4085)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32763) - you deserved it (5820)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to spend the morning and afternoon waiting for my uncle to take a crap after his hernia surgery. It never happened, and in the end I drove home, only to find the highway just as backed up as my uncle's colon. FML

#17697581
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (2953)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:47pm - health - by wilmerjean - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8839) - you deserved it (65217)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3363)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (6879)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14236) - you deserved it (26822)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32556) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (14766)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (3615)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (4380)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (4273)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32648) - you deserved it (4596)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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