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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (1985)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

#21459620
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23015) - you deserved it (2556)

On 08/23/2015 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (5470)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

#21459211
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (1981)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:47am - health - by period pains - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (6027)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my ears randomly went deaf. I went to the doctor, thinking I had an ear infection or something. Turns out that your ears can go deaf entirely without reason, and I now have medication to take to see if I can get any of my hearing back in that ear. I'm only 26. FML

#21458738
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (1518)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22am - health - by ANON - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (5042)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

#21457966
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (3720)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

#21457959
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17699) - you deserved it (10050)

On 08/19/2015 at 7:34am - health - by julian1 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

#21457412
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (1561)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:39am - health - by LoveIsOneSided (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

#21457409
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (1708)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:30am - health - by jami898 - United States (Oregon)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (39920)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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