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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

#13273465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (3697)

On 10/01/2010 at 4:35am - health - by parisite - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19964) - you deserved it (3170)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#13233409
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30528) - you deserved it (2545)

On 09/28/2010 at 7:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

#13219092
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (12132)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

#13188457
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (2372)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (7135)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (12998)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (6711)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

#13137584
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9190) - you deserved it (26616)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:38am - health - by meowmeow - Australia

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

#13125278
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (3315)

On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

#13124978
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11076) - you deserved it (35581)

On 09/20/2010 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

#13118353
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (4597)

On 09/19/2010 at 7:55pm - health - by keenan (woman) - United States (Texas)



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