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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#13233409
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/28/2010 at 7:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

#13219092
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19518) - you deserved it (12130)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

#13188457
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (2371)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (7134)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (12998)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20876) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (6711)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

#13137584
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9191) - you deserved it (26615)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:38am - health - by meowmeow - Australia

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

#13125278
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (3315)

On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

#13124978
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11074) - you deserved it (35576)

On 09/20/2010 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

#13118353
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (4597)

On 09/19/2010 at 7:55pm - health - by keenan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

#13094765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (2445)

On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (2839)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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