Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (4174)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

#15894245
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (2701)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:12am - health - by rhartnett11 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

#15873960
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31107) - you deserved it (9146)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

#15842272
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30723) - you deserved it (3993)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:30am - health - by norestforthewicked -

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
738 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (7087)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (8206)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (3675)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46579) - you deserved it (18102)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (2853)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

#15786221
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (34987)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm - health - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML

#15786077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13635) - you deserved it (22020)

On 04/14/2011 at 6:12pm - health - by Omegared - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

#15768442
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:34am - health - by Arghh (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11473) - you deserved it (129446)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia



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