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Man or woman?

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (6680)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

#15576968
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (14402)

On 03/31/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by BudmaudeY (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (15100)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (25442)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

#15550416
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35416) - you deserved it (3579)

On 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

#15546650
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (2802)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:08pm - health - by Spike (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (4131)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

#15514650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33505) - you deserved it (3881)

On 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm - health - by hellosir - United States

Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML

#15503138
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15420) - you deserved it (36347)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm - health - by coolkid111 - United States (New York)

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

#15487602
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49950) - you deserved it (3052)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34692) - you deserved it (6214)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

#15430583
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (12247)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:39am - health - by Maddie -

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom



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