Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10401) - you deserved it (61180)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44507) - you deserved it (3586)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

#15302298
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28294) - you deserved it (14609)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (2732)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (6855)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (2848)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML

#15278049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25957) - you deserved it (2586)

On 03/11/2011 at 7:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

#15273701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23909) - you deserved it (4444)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:11am - health - by Pain_intolerant - Canada

Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML

#15242140
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44033) - you deserved it (4530)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

#15240509
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (8358)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm - health - by caqi33 - United States

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28152) - you deserved it (5983)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML

#15229346
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (3221)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

#15225525
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49433) - you deserved it (10178)

On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: