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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (3067)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60151) - you deserved it (5933)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

#17757780
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (8997)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my sister told me that she read that the pain of giving birth is equal to the pain of breaking 20 bones at once. I'm 19 weeks pregnant. FML

#17755798
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (5634)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:21am - health - by ouch - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35544) - you deserved it (6160)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

#17744289
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you deserved it (5703)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (2669)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (50072)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

#17736251
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (2249)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

#17735625
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (3909)

On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML

#17718779
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:15am - health - by bob - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38985) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35276) - you deserved it (4085)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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