Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14991) - you deserved it (28057)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

#17898016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29274) - you deserved it (3665)

On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finally admitted that I have to consider buying a nose hair trimmer. I'm a woman. FML

#17894495
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (3985)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:08am - health - by smsmall - United States

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

#17863482
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28969) - you deserved it (2917)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm - health - by Vxale (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (4048)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (3419)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

#17848312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26454) - you deserved it (2235)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (3565)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

#17845036
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27724) - you deserved it (5577)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13808) - you deserved it (34152)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (30399)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML

#17827481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:23am - health - by jc2011 - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: