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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7458) - you deserved it (40162)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (2724)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (3946)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (2703)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15721) - you deserved it (23915)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (3821)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

#14694956
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (2711)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:01am - health - by l0stnwundrland - United States

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

#14692086
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20642) - you deserved it (8102)

On 01/23/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by Sostupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (2465)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32647) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML

#14659037
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (5604)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Monaco

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (3242)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML

#14646184
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27511) - you deserved it (3981)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:47am - health - by sickly (woman) - United States (Texas)



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