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Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

#15991083
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33526) - you deserved it (21814)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm - health - by Laci (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

#15982407
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44854) - you deserved it (2805)

On 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm - health - by thanksmom - United States (California)

Today, my doctor told me my asthma was being triggered by my dad's smoking. He wrote a note to my dad, asking him to refrain from smoking while around me. My dad took one look at the note, then threw it in the trash, saying the doctor "doesn't know what he's talking about." FML

#15977216
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41783) - you deserved it (2776)

On 04/29/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by Wtf (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

#15962941
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30033) - you deserved it (3800)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (3411)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (3819)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

#15933616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (3736)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:00pm - health - by BigToe (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (5153)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (48264)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (3943)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18912) - you deserved it (54316)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (4174)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

#15894245
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (2701)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:12am - health - by rhartnett11 - United States (Virginia)



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