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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14106) - you deserved it (23817)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (2794)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21989) - you deserved it (2491)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (2762)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#13507250
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/19/2010 at 1:20am - health - by coeurdlucky - United States

Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML

#13499109
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22832) - you deserved it (4002)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:02pm - health - by bjevilcat2 - United States

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

#13457118
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (5612)

On 10/15/2010 at 9:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

#13443862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (6409)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:05am - health - by mikey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5685) - you deserved it (58909)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32529) - you deserved it (3714)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

#13402192
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (8059)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:00am - health - by cdubb27 - United States (California)

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8554) - you deserved it (36716)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

#13397431
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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