Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10031) - you deserved it (46376)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML

#16694485
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (12086)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by catlover - China

Today, I found out the medications my doctor gave me for depression are making me fat. My main reason for depression is an eating disorder. Now, I'm fat instead of just thinking I am. FML

#16683131
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36383) - you deserved it (5812)

On 06/15/2011 at 8:24pm - health - by DarkMaskDiva (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

#16676929
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42977) - you deserved it (3292)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

#16673731
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15468) - you deserved it (33730)

On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

#16671124
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40720) - you deserved it (2866)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

#16650975
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10731) - you deserved it (51930)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

#16638777
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (4535)

On 06/13/2011 at 1:39am - health - by ow (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

#16608434
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (2932)

On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34120) - you deserved it (2977)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

#16601397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (15789)

On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

#16579726
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41478) - you deserved it (3958)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:04pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (16398)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: