Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

#15514650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (3880)

On 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm - health - by hellosir - United States

Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML

#15503138
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (36311)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm - health - by coolkid111 - United States (New York)

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

#15487602
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49912) - you deserved it (3052)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (6214)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

#15430583
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (12243)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:39am - health - by Maddie -

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38926) - you deserved it (6804)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

#15385853
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (3223)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:13pm - health - by Jessica - Romania (Neamt)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10398) - you deserved it (61171)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

#15334781
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44500) - you deserved it (3586)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

#15302298
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (14605)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (2732)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (6854)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: