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Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

#16292303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42782) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/22/2011 at 2:30am - health - by ninalian - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (3096)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

#16234308
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (8840)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

#16232810
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (3968)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63598) - you deserved it (9890)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

#16204397
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19342) - you deserved it (36542)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:28am - health - by foolmetwice (woman) -

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (12667)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36344) - you deserved it (12861)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

#16158783
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (2667)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by samadams42 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

#16150933
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (2681)

On 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Eric -

Today, on the school bus, I rapped on a window in an attempt to get my friend's attention. A guy sitting behind me took this as an opportunity to shove my face into the window, breaking my nose. FML

#16146603
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (4807)

On 05/12/2011 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a paper cut from a 'get well soon' card. FML

#16140473
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37851) - you deserved it (5338)

On 05/12/2011 at 3:54am - health - by Anonymous -



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