Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61091) - you deserved it (8688)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

#21035253
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (5527)

On 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm - health - by cuntocracy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45379) - you deserved it (30766)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40534) - you deserved it (5632)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42850) - you deserved it (3944)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41914) - you deserved it (4518)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49096) - you deserved it (4440)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51790) - you deserved it (6511)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (5104)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41802) - you deserved it (4130)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51475) - you deserved it (6863)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm now able to put my acne cream on my face without having to look in the mirror, because I've memorized the crater and trench-filled war zone that is my acne-riddled face. FML

#21016650
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (4091)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: