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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14635) - you deserved it (24816)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (2355)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29797) - you deserved it (2023)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

#21401319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (1969)

On 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by full bladder - United States (Florida)

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (2072)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (4677)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

#21398967
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (2011)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (5227)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (9461)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (1915)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)



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