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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, when I went to see my therapist, she handed me a tube of tooth paste and said, "Please use it". FML

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML

#21521056
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (1240)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:33am - health - by Allergic to Assholes - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML

#21520448
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18744) - you deserved it (2810)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:24pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

#21520387
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (1564)

On 01/28/2016 at 11:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

#21519974
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (2072)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:02am - health - by oliver (man) - United States

Today, I learned that I have a sinus infection, ear infection and bronchitis so bad it was on the verge of pneumonia. My work won't let me call in sick. I work with kids. Lovely. FML

#21519906
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (1183)

On 01/27/2016 at 12:02am - health - by sicky - United States (Utah)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. It wasn't until I passed out on the ice during hockey practice that I remembered the nurse warning me not to do any type of exercise. FML

#21519730
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10615) - you deserved it (17699)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:38pm - health - by ktm1313 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML

Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML

#21519254
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (2266)

On 01/25/2016 at 12:04pm - health - by my face though - United States (Washington)

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

#21518868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24179) - you deserved it (1969)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm - health - by fuckoffgramps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I absentmindedly smiled and told my grandfather to "have fun" before closing the door behind him. He was leaving to go to his chemotherapy session for lung cancer. FML

Today, I confided in my best friend about my recent weight loss, and how it was due to lack of appetite because of my horrible depression and anxiety. She congratulated me. FML

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

#21516615
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22089) - you deserved it (1242)

On 01/18/2016 at 1:53pm - health - by anon -



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