Farts and Health: Oh no…

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 420

You deserved it 4 491

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Same thing different taste

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 3 623

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 284

UTI

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 07:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 1 034

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 11 813

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 607

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 446

You deserved it 4 980

By Gasman - 15/07/2017 15:30 - New Zealand

Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 505

You deserved it 3 132

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 639

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 595

You deserved it 8 487

It wasn't me

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 189

sallycinnamon 21

Friday 4 December 2015 10:47

Shoulda done a sinister grin in the reflection just to top it off

ihartmytdi 23

Friday 4 December 2015 10:37

Just don't be surprised when he fires back.

Comments

dutchy86 20

Friday 4 December 2015 10:30

sharing doubles the fun...

Cads1 24

Friday 4 December 2015 10:32

You should invite them in and discuss this over a drink.

Cads1 24

Friday 4 December 2015 10:41

Lol, the FML I wrote that for no longer exists.

feebae 11

Friday 4 December 2015 10:32

Let it goooo

oiler 21

Friday 4 December 2015 14:29

Cant hold back anymore

Geckosrock99 33

Friday 4 December 2015 18:18

The stench never bothered me anyway

oiler 21

Friday 4 December 2015 20:39

But here I am

DeltaDragonxx 20

Friday 4 December 2015 22:34

Not sure whether to like or dislike

lexred 30

Friday 4 December 2015 10:33

I think it'll all be ok coz he's ur roomie and things like these are common between roomies

Kuibe 18

Friday 4 December 2015 10:34

It happens to even the best of us OP.

ihartmytdi 23

Friday 4 December 2015 10:37

Just don't be surprised when he fires back.

sallycinnamon 21

Friday 4 December 2015 10:47

Shoulda done a sinister grin in the reflection just to top it off

rgriff27 19

Friday 4 December 2015 10:54

Pfffft, so?

deathstroke990 22

Friday 4 December 2015 11:09

everybody farts, its rly not that big of a deal

SilentSin 23

Friday 4 December 2015 11:18

Lol ask him if he smells popcorn

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 49

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 706

You deserved it 5 785

The Top

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 5 247

Today, I have to spray the kitchen whenever my new roommate cooks. Not only can he not cook, but what he usually makes is some godawful concoction of ramen noodles, canned tuna, Tuna Helper, and Ranch dressing for himself. The stink alone is enough to make me choke, but he smokes the entire time he makes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 98

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 346

You deserved it 3 520

Today, I begged my parents not to take me to a restaurant for my birthday, but sure enough, they took me to one, along with my siblings, aunts, uncles, you name it. Ordering with them is a nightmare, so after a whole half-hour the waiter still hadn’t gotten everyone’s complicated orders written down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 103

Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 877

You deserved it 373

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 009

You deserved it 3 492