Health: Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally... - FML

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 432

You deserved it 3 813

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Same thing different taste

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 4 681

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 2 527

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 3 049

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 141

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925

You deserved it 172

By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/09/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 4 927

By yeah why not - 06/04/2013 17:06 - Norway

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 841

You deserved it 2 997

By FML - 04/09/2015 16:27 - United States - Maricopa

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 693

You deserved it 1 725

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 195

You deserved it 2 384

Next

Top comments

ImKindaABigDeal 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:06

shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"

cheerchika 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:04

hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)

Comments

cheerchika 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:04

hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)

sammy92 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:14

I hope not for your sake XD

andruha1123 5

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:15

this is an fml because he did

cheerchika 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:25

well maybe he didn't say anything back, maybe he was like "I had enough with his shit" and went to his room :P

Yousuck24 21

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:32

it would of been funny if the father repli

cheerchika 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:39

it all depends if this guy said anything back. omg some drunk people are entertaining to watch lol

ScaughtieHolden 11

Sunday 6 March 2011 12:54

You mean if the kid repliED, 25, the father asked the question.

mzeemzima 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:03

well.....did you

donkeyshlong42 1

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:04

56 you look familiar were you the kid in the harry potter movie??

DaveOnDope 4

Monday 7 March 2011 5:31

This is for 28 30 years ago I used to go to a local truck stop around midnight to drink coffee and debug source code. (loads of free coffee) I loved seeing all the drunks showing up at 2am.

cheerchika 0

Monday 7 March 2011 10:06

haha 105. I love seeing my friends drunk. they are soo freaking funny. I love itt

JuiiceBoxxJoshh 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:12

i thought he was someone from my school :S

j_cat187 19

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:05

say u inherited his tiny penis

sloppyflow 1

Sunday 6 March 2011 19:34

and his mum "abnormally huge breast"

Sway619 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:05

And you replied, "unfortunately yes..."

MichaelGood 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:07

^ now u can relate to him :3! (just playing not trollin don't worry :))

dcioth 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:53

don't u mean unfortunately...... puts on cool glasses ...yes YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

jeff98 2

Saturday 16 June 2012 13:27

wtf are u saying u freakin nim rod

ImKindaABigDeal 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:06

shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"

tkdgold03 5

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:06

sweet..

FYLDeep 25

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:16

From behind...

carnage1106 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 12:03

cowboy style...

SchiTzenGiglez 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 14:10

win

SkateboardGirl88 11

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:41

Hahahahaha

sweet_blue 3

Monday 7 March 2011 0:07

haha that's funny

mintcar 9

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:06

Wow...that's a little odd. Did you?

FruityLoooons 8

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:07

...did he want to see?

africanelephants 7

Sunday 6 March 2011 13:26

the real question is, did he show him his for comparison?

maddiester 5

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:09

why didn't you just show it to him? you could be a grown man but he's your father. nothing like a son/dad bonding by comparing penises :)

ranger186 1

Sunday 6 March 2011 10:13

SWORD FIGHT

satanballs666 5

Sunday 6 March 2011 10:42

get some glow in the dark condoms and you get lightsabers

Gucci_107 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 15:41

# 42 LMFAAAAOOO!

SarahStarzz 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:10

so did u?

ashleighmef 7

Monday 7 March 2011 7:06

yeah that's what I was thinking

ImKindaABigDeal 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:11

I certainly hope not. there's clearly not much to chip off

ImKindaABigDeal 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:13

I posted this on 10's comment but it made it a seperate one... hmm...

averageJoe1492 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:12

hahahahahaha that's hilarious

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Everybody needs some time alone to sing it out... Just hope no one is recording it!

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 71

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

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Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

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