Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

#21287120
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (1672)

On 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

#21286990
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm - health - by not drunk (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (9679)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML

#21286263
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (2841) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/27/2014 at 10:22am - health - by DiiiDiiine (woman) - France (Limousin)

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20744) - you deserved it (19308)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

#21284649
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (4472)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (2454)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: