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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

#21268375
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29500) - you deserved it (2027)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm - health - by Tampax - Spain (Castilla-La Mancha)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (2960)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

#21267650
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34861) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm - health - by impure - United States

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27144) - you deserved it (5157)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (3871)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (13352)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

#21263853
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34111) - you deserved it (2442)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm - health - by catgiraffegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32961) - you deserved it (2552)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (2857)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (4510)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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