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Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22267) - you deserved it (2295)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

#11273
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34189) - you deserved it (2415)

On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (2824)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (47928)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

#10740
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33611) - you deserved it (3562)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

#10627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62343) - you deserved it (2636)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered in my house a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer except me. FML

#9673
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (7348)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

#9653
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (2742)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34060) - you deserved it (59491)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63530) - you deserved it (24348)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45995) - you deserved it (13858)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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