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Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (3049)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (280121) - you deserved it (51827)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML

#12057
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9797) - you deserved it (21365)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:40pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45561) - you deserved it (3832)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

#11959
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (27523)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:50pm - misc - by yerbuagalapagos wonder (woman) - Ecuador (Galapagos)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has been having an affair with another woman. He works with me and the woman also works in the same company. She is also married and is now 6 months pregnant. They are throwing a baby shower for her on Monday. FML

#11922
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32295) - you deserved it (1767)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:32pm - love - by Flabbergasted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

#11698
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20226) - you deserved it (2565)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Lizz (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (2295)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

#11273
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34189) - you deserved it (2415)

On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (2824)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8015) - you deserved it (47927)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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