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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

#268093
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59796) - you deserved it (15608)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by nickyniknaim93 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75823) - you deserved it (3392)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML

#266744
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54042) - you deserved it (13259)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

#266591
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104884) - you deserved it (9354)

On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54409) - you deserved it (4220)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our school went to an elementary school to read to the kids. One of the girls in my group asked me if she could switch into another group, so I asked her what was wrong with mine. She said, "Nothing, I wanna be in her group. She's prettier." I was insulted by a kindergartner. FML

#263289
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48099) - you deserved it (3475)

On 03/10/2009 at 6:51pm - misc - by thanksjill (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82346) - you deserved it (6369)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

#262381
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14581) - you deserved it (66051)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70541) - you deserved it (21936)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (87023)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML

#260978
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57047) - you deserved it (2631)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by nannynomore (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. My have two older sisters also graduated. The first one got a Tiffany's bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML

#260878
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68350) - you deserved it (3061)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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