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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (9988)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39429) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37506) - you deserved it (9452)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60926) - you deserved it (3358)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (44922)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

#47505
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50072) - you deserved it (5878)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by miapapaya (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML

#46183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (51118)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by Nastiaa (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7387) - you deserved it (64432)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML

#45956
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (1996)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

#45902
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (2539)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:32am - misc - by lamesauce (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

#45104
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7196) - you deserved it (28762)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by sillybrohos (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

#43502
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67559) - you deserved it (6991)

On 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm - misc - by NeverCampingAgain (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

#43166
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (4733)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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