Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

#242158
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58998) - you deserved it (4410)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML

#241205
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57468) - you deserved it (9145)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

#240683
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (9373)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going over to my friends house for dinner, (it was my birthday) when I walked in everyone yelled surprise and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me she said "wrong person guys, turn off the lights". FML

#240271
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55205) - you deserved it (2787)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by PmS (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

#240249
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16122) - you deserved it (48802)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

#239569
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50728) - you deserved it (7274)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:47am - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54395) - you deserved it (3895)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20451) - you deserved it (69032)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

#234874
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56277) - you deserved it (8952)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML

#234756
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137406) - you deserved it (9203)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

#234150
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58969) - you deserved it (7525)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55582) - you deserved it (17758)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19584) - you deserved it (35799)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: