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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

#45104
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (28761)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by sillybrohos (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

#43502
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67554) - you deserved it (6991)

On 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm - misc - by NeverCampingAgain (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

#43166
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (4733)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

#43092
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13556) - you deserved it (48557)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by videochat (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I realized the reason I was asked to babysit 3 weeks ago for Feb 14 was because the old married couple with kids safely assumed that I wouldn't have a Valentine. FML

#43018
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (2529)

On 02/14/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by NoValentine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

#42695
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36668) - you deserved it (6324)

On 02/14/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Grossed out (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML

#42474
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45288) - you deserved it (1915)

On 02/14/2009 at 3:50pm - animals - by Anne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

#41916
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33105) - you deserved it (5232)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by faye (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

#40460
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (2265)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by clementine8 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

#40006
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (5815)

On 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by crazycutie1027 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48058) - you deserved it (7820)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

#37310
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (4913)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by kiwi (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (6144)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)



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