Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135169) - you deserved it (11989)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , I babysat 4 two little grls,o wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled , and said tat I would love to play wit tem. Te older grl lauged , saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids r pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77557) - you deserved it (4564)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taxting two paopla at onca. Trying to raspond to my friand's taxt, I accidantally clickd on this guy's nama instaad, who I'va navar mat. Ha just told ma about his grandma's funaral ha want to that was an opan caskat. I raspondd with, "Haha wow u slut, I'm sura u wara arousd."

TADAY FRIEND AND I WERE FILMING FOOTBALL PRACTICE AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT GUYS ON THE TEAM WERE ATTRACTIVE AND WHO WE WOULD WANT TO GET IT ON WITH!! WE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THE CAMERA WAS RECORDING EVERYTHING THAT WE SAID!! THE TAPE WAS PLAYD TO THE ENTIRE TEAM THE NEXT DAY!! WITH SOUND!! REAL FML

#600956
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (118624)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I Bought Body Chocolate To Use In Bed With My Boyfriend In The Hopes Of Spicing Things Up . Everything Was Going Great, Until I Tasted It . It Was Disgusting And Actually Made Me Gag A Little . Later, My Boyfriend Checked The Label And Started Laughing . It Had Expired 3 Years Ago . FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (77629)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

today a kid I coach on a regular basis was talking to me about what I did outside of work . After we were done with the conversation, she told me with a straight face that I need to get a life and get a looool boyfriend . She's 10 . And she's right . fat FML

#593452
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54104) - you deserved it (9473)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by gymnasticscoach (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I complatd my 6 month training program for a track looool compatition this waakand. I want to tha park to run anyway cuz I naadd soma air aftar my boyfriand broka up with ma. Aftar ona lap , my naighbor's 130 lb dog ran acros tha soccar fiald and jumpd on ma to say hi. My lag is brokan. FML

#592855
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84717) - you deserved it (3933)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by fmrunning (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I Found Out That I'm Failing This Semester Because I've Missed Too Many Classes. I've Missed The Classe Because I've Been Having Panic Attacks, A Symptom Of Mah Anxiety Disorder. I Got The Anxiety Disorder Because I Was So Afraid Of Failing School. FML

#592595
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99430) - you deserved it (26098)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Taday I was using ma dad's cell because I ad broken mine. I was texting ma boyfriend all day wen ma dad needed is pone back. I forgot to tell ma boyfriend tat ma dad would be using te pone. My boyfriend ten texted grapically wat e wanted to do to ma dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you deserved it (96740)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in fir free . On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself I just let u in because I'm lazy." FML

#588112
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65823) - you deserved it (15612)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas fir mah car. On mah way there, I prayed that mah car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew mah car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left mah wallet at mah house. FML

#584648
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44859) - you deserved it (24335)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today..!! I was trying to convince mah boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde!! After screaming at the top of mah lungs..!! I trippd over a bin and hit mah head on a wall!! FML

#582886
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (82070)

On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: