Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML

#21510172
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (1418)

On 01/01/2016 at 11:23am - misc - by Mewsmash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML

#21510122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18554) - you deserved it (1570)

On 01/01/2016 at 6:37am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

#21509850
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (6607)

On 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND...!" FML

#21509780
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/31/2015 at 2:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

#21509769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as always, I tend to smile and giggle when I'm nervous. I couldn't stop it from happening at the funeral of my friend's grandmother. FML

#21509708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/31/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Smiley (woman) - Aruba

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

#21509618
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21403) - you deserved it (1482)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

#21509247
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (3319)

On 12/30/2015 at 12:55am - intimacy - by wardsl195 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

#21509223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (1885)

On 12/29/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by NeverLookingAgain (woman) - United States

Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML

#21509168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (1497)

On 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

#21509147
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20273) - you deserved it (1261)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by bob the builders pissed off daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML

#21509043
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/29/2015 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML

#21508989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (2099)

On 12/29/2015 at 7:04am - love - by debiebs (woman) - Brazil (Bahia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: