Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

#55893
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (5310)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (7817)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (6885)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

#55146
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50120) - you deserved it (6994)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by manda (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML

#55027
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55126) - you deserved it (9123)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by LALALA3 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

#54894
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (3486)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by tacky_unrefined (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11317) - you deserved it (62403)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9919) - you deserved it (69085)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39350) - you deserved it (9988)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39392) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (9447)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60021) - you deserved it (3288)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (44902)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: