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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15293) - you deserved it (31330)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (45024)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

#75881
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (6725)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:36am - health - by fatass (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43061) - you deserved it (2483)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to try this new cardio workout video I got. As I was obnoxiously bouncing around my room I heard a noise behind me. Turns out there were three boys outside my window watching. FML

#75556
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14368) - you deserved it (25078)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

#74820
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45117) - you deserved it (2192)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by sucks2suck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

#74742
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11273) - you deserved it (42097)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:22am - love - by baddormgirl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

#73604
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (15079)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Rye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my boyfriend were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

#71498
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (5278)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by happyasaclam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52472) - you deserved it (8325)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML

#70585
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (14694)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by authentic (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (57365)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

#70401
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61254) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:59pm - misc - by lalalee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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