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Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (60747)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (51193)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

#93640
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (48021)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a 32 year old man I had been dating for a few months, finally took me to his place. To my surprise, this bachelor had a huge and very clean home! Also, to my surprise, I met the REAL homeowner. His grandmother, who came home early. We were having sex on her couch at the time. FML

#92006
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53086) - you deserved it (9362)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by x (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML

#91995
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47153) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

#90638
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66681) - you deserved it (10475)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I returned from a half-month long trip to China with a group of friends. After throwing myself into my mother's arms and bursting into tears, she stops me to say 'Listen...these last couple of weeks have been some of the best I've ever had. Can we try to keep it like that?' FML

#89579
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (4122)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by DuCkBuBbLeS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45578) - you deserved it (3577)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML

#87157
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50160) - you deserved it (25212)

On 02/20/2009 at 10:38am - intimacy - by clueless2 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

#86332
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68505) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

#85475
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47637) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/20/2009 at 1:16am - work - by Jedi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my college friend that I considered her to be my best friend. She responded, "I don't think you should call me that." FML

#84987
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (3515)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by Oh dear... (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84392) - you deserved it (17620)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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