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Today, I went to mah new dentist an before he startd looking at mah teeth, I told him mah previous dentist had never found a single thing wrong with mah teeth. After looking around, he chuckld humourlessly an calld mah last dentist idiotic. I now have a $580 bill an a root canal looool next week. FML

#1143838
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46516) - you deserved it (4822)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:20am - health - by Novocain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I wanted to change out of mah bikini 4 the ride home from the beach. There wasn't a bathroom near, so I went to change in front of a suburban, parked far away from all the people. I took off mah suit, hear the car's horn honk, only to find that the car was completely packed with old men. FML

#1141291
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14162) - you deserved it (63475)

On 04/20/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by steph (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah mother called me downstairs to give me wat I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four yeres too late)!! So she sits me down, holds mah hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if u ever come home pregnant, I'll kill u and the baby." big fat FML

2day I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home looool 4 a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. mega FML

#1131048
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66593) - you deserved it (6933)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

2day I Went To My New Job At A Pre-school. I Was Really Excitd Because Everything Was Going So Well , An A Little Boy Even Said He Was Drawing A Picture Of Me. He Even Gave It To Me When He Was Finishd. Well It Was Me , But I Was Also On Fire An Bieng Stabbd An Shot Multiple Times. Mega FML

#1127830
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55775) - you deserved it (3282)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I ad a job interview. Everyting was going really well until I noticd a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I soutd tat someting really disgusting was crawling on im. It turns out looool it was is big ary mole. FML

#1125126
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (55714)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY IS MY 21ST BIRTHDAY . I GET HOME AFTER MY NIGHT OUT AND WALK INTO THE GARAGE TO SEE A 2002 RED CORVETTE CONVERTIBLE . I RUN UP TO THE CAR THINKING ITS A GIFT AND THERE'S A NOTE: "DANI THIS IS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT . QUIT DROOLING ON MY CAR . -DAD" THANKS DAD . FML

#1124896
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54079) - you deserved it (12569)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by scarletdurose88 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line 4 my hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jack ass and was saying how people lyk him give us a bad reputation on the beach. I then see him running to his choking daughter. FML

#1123133
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11468) - you deserved it (79739)

On 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by howembarrasing (woman) - United States (Texas)

yesterday I asked mah boyfriend wat he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda lyk having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML

#1123118
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57415) - you deserved it (5061)

On 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by wvugirl (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl an we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet so I smiled. She looked at me an went "Don't smile your smile is really scary." FML

#1119408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51406) - you deserved it (4888)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, I was fixing some photos for a client!! I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture!! Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen!! FML

#1118521
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11829) - you deserved it (60239)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, fir mah mom's 50th brthday all she wanted was this gold bracelet. It was too much money fir me to buy so I bought the same one in silver. Right before I gave it to her, mah older sister gave her the gold bracelethich made her cry. When I gave her mah present she just said "oh." FML

#1105841
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64713) - you deserved it (5147)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT TAT I'M PREGNANT. MY USBAND AN I AVE BEEN TRYING TO AVE A BABBY 4 A WILE, AN I WAS VERY EXCITED TO TELL IM TE NEWS. WEN I OPENED IS OFFICE PLANNING TO SURPRISE IM WIT TE NEWS, I SAW IM MAKING OUT WIT A MAN. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (497986) - you deserved it (31014)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)



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