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Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76136) - you deserved it (4612)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

#112568
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10745) - you deserved it (50576)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:41am - health - by kcd (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

#112502
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (7832)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:16am - work - by Debbie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59604) - you deserved it (2876)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

#110231
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13416) - you deserved it (35542)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

#109739
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (42607)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML

#108333
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13119) - you deserved it (52653)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by DB (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

#104112
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (10725)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:02pm - health - by amandapurple (woman) - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16661) - you deserved it (54874)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

#101947
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36516) - you deserved it (9761)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

#101667
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (40793)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by damn-it (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

#100715
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (12322)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:49pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75509) - you deserved it (7031)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)



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