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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59852) - you deserved it (6209)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML

#1214347
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64003) - you deserved it (5257)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55356) - you deserved it (5264)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

#1212600
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16628) - you deserved it (146931)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I miss an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

#1206678
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52815) - you deserved it (5229)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML

#1206397
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69397) - you deserved it (26696)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61179) - you deserved it (22678)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML

#1200256
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63230) - you deserved it (4715)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

#1189680
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47847) - you deserved it (4338)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

#1187831
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66747) - you deserved it (4249)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:13am - love - by 5220 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

#1186879
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53283) - you deserved it (9341)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used an airplane bathroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touch the seat. The seat cover clogged the toilet. I stuck my hand in and fished the seat cover out. I essentially stuck my hand into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touch the seat. FML

#1186504
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (67250)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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