Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

#415998
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83942) - you deserved it (18487)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by SmileEveryday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99828) - you deserved it (45354)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

#410087
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60903) - you deserved it (22200)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136893) - you deserved it (36859)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

#398759
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22739) - you deserved it (93469)

On 03/16/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by cannabis_this420 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114832) - you deserved it (43009)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

#385410
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (113431)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

#381498
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155977) - you deserved it (21712)

On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

#379533
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (158472)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125302) - you deserved it (36518)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (185814)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

#370215
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49513) - you deserved it (37315)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by textraped (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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