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Man or woman?

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

#2251338
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76996) - you deserved it (7564)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

#2248680
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49496) - you deserved it (25081)

On 05/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by anonymouss (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

#2247907
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50503) - you deserved it (4135)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74079) - you deserved it (4135)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51444) - you deserved it (18330)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16996) - you deserved it (59101)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya, where I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friends to go green and help raise awareness by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to find that all my lights have been on for 2 weeks. FML

#2232813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14714) - you deserved it (60387)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:46am - misc - by APRRECIATION (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56433) - you deserved it (43837)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

#2230053
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12573) - you deserved it (56628)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

#2228533
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102575) - you deserved it (24925)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

#2228534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18201) - you deserved it (43326)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML

#2223599
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (3765)

On 05/23/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

#2214094
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (3250)

On 05/23/2009 at 4:20pm - work - by jend (woman) - United States (Florida)



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