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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

#521757
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51622) - you deserved it (10099)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22429) - you deserved it (63130)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

#517502
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59169) - you deserved it (3720)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

#516140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69669) - you deserved it (6187)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by motherdearest (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML

#515766
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51445) - you deserved it (6146)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Gutted. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125927) - you deserved it (20335)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

#506231
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60345) - you deserved it (117544)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by soliveyerlife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (58363)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

#500122
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81517) - you deserved it (7478)

On 03/20/2009 at 10:39pm - love - by cancerfreak (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (110468)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

#495475
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56107) - you deserved it (29204)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128233) - you deserved it (7784)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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