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Today, I was working as a waitress at this pub. It was dead. After 4 hours I had only made 5$ in tips. A friendly couple came in and complimented EVERYTHING down to the freshness of the lemons in their tea. The bill came to $50. They left me a $5 gift card to starbucks. I don't drink coffee. FML

#2501090
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43863) - you deserved it (6966)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Kitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (61497)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20059) - you deserved it (48997)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

#2492731
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50828) - you deserved it (5417)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:06am - intimacy - by frustrated (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67862) - you deserved it (5009)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

#2491424
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41474) - you deserved it (10376)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

#2490084
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9154) - you deserved it (49597)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by PulledOver (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

#2489611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14608) - you deserved it (35403)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41753) - you deserved it (37103)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

#2471479
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72640) - you deserved it (12051)

On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our 1 year anniversary and it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two pack of cigarettes. FML

#2465572
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (9994)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by sadwife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65049) - you deserved it (9974)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (5039)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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