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Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

#904176
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61540) - you deserved it (5689)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm - kids - by boyfriendless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (44908)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I was pulled over for not having my car inspection up to date. I had my car inspected two weeks earlier. Since I'm at college my sticker was mailed to my home. My mother didn't want to pay the 42cent postage so now I have to pay $250.00 because my mother is cheap. FML

#902369
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57456) - you deserved it (3774)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:39pm - money - by Stickerless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML

#898181
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54167) - you deserved it (21934)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:43am - intimacy - by cherry (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55700) - you deserved it (8791)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

#897459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49056) - you deserved it (4656)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by Kim (woman) - United States

Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML

#897353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82673) - you deserved it (3417)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

#894059
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (70709)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:40pm - health - by clublulu (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

#892613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (78303)

On 04/09/2009 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

#891545
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16760) - you deserved it (52349)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm - work - by ohhhman (woman) - United States

Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML

#889359
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51901) - you deserved it (17447)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:51pm - kids - by Liz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63140) - you deserved it (14095)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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