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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

#644673
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58638) - you deserved it (22468)

On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81243) - you deserved it (16045)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

#641571
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51831) - you deserved it (6775)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

#637749
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91099) - you deserved it (8574)

On 03/27/2009 at 1:12am - love - by w00tz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

#637198
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64329) - you deserved it (4440)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

#636351
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51923) - you deserved it (6736)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Lena (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167254) - you deserved it (34001)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

#632054
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119768) - you deserved it (8950)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105897) - you deserved it (5498)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

#628837
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45484) - you deserved it (24097)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

#622063
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82544) - you deserved it (4740)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14469) - you deserved it (71098)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133027) - you deserved it (11898)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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